The Older I Get, the Less I Want to Whisper: An exploration of visibility & confidence for women in business.
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
As I turn 60 this summer, I have been thinking a lot about visibility, confidence, time, and what it means to keep showing up fully in life and business.
The truth is, I am far more interested in living life to the full than I am in worrying about getting older. I still feel ambitious, curious, and excited about what is next. But I am more aware now that time is precious. Not in a dramatic sense, and not because I feel life is somehow running out, but because I know time is not infinite. None of us knows what is ahead, and that awareness does change you.
Perhaps I have felt that more deeply than some because I lost my dad when I was 18 and my mum when I was 31. There is no denying that those losses shaped how I see life. Ageing feels like a privilege they did not get to have. In fact, 60 is the age my mum was when I lost her, so reaching that milestone this Summer carries a great deal of perspective for me. It makes me want to cherish every single morsel of life, make the most of my time, and say yes to experiences that matter.
A time to step out of my comfort zone and say yes!
That is part of the reason I have signed up for a three-day hike in the Swiss Alps this September. Not a glamorous walk each day that ends in a luxe hotel where my luggage miraculously appears, but a three-day hike that includes reaching two 3,000m summits and everything I need carried in a 10kg backpack on my back. I walk my dog every day and usually cover at least 3-4 miles, but this hike sits firmly outside my comfort zone. I am doing it with a community I am part of, women and men mostly from my generation, though some are younger too, and what connects us is a shared belief in fitness at any age. My thinking was simple: I want the year I approach 60, and the year I am 60, to be filled with experiences and challenges. I do not want to drift through it. I want to live it.
That same way of looking at life has influenced how I think about business, visibility, and confidence too.
Its a year of milestones as in April I celebrate 40 years in marketing, and I am proud of that as it's been a rollercoaster of a journey within an industry that has transformed in that time. But not long ago, one of my oldest and closest friends (and just a few years younger than me) commented on my social content and said, “You might want to stop mentioning how long you’ve worked in marketing as it will put people off.” It was one of those comments that stays with you, because it reflects a message women hear in all sorts of subtle, often unspoken, ways as we get older: be careful how much of your age or experience you reveal, because it may count against you. And sadly, I've seen first hand that it does. And yet, when I mentioned my friend's comment to a client, her response was immediate: “But your experience is exactly why I chose to work with you.”
That contrast says a great deal. And it convinced me to not shy away from the level of experience I offer. It will not resonate with certain age groups perhaps, but they are not the ones I wish to work with so that is absolutely OK.
Should women have short hair post 40?
Bear with me here. For some people, aging becomes a reason to dismiss, to ignore, to give up on, and in some cases, ridicule, and there are some beliefs around it that seem hard to change, especially for women. I remember one friend telling me as I approached 40 that it was time to consider a short hair cut - at 40!?!
For others, age is a mark of depth, wisdom, resilience, and credibility. It's a priviledge to grow older and we should be proud and loud to do so. I know which view I prefer, and I know which one feels far more me (and 20 years on, I still have long hair!)
And yet, many women in business are being fed a very different message. We are surrounded by pressure to stay youthful, look polished, and somehow appear untouched by time. Social media has only intensified that. Filters, flattering angles, carefully curated images, and the unspoken expectation that women should be visible, but only if they still look effortlessly fresh and ageless. It is tiring, and I think it chips away at confidence more than we realise.
Does age impact women in business and how visible, relevant, or confident you are?
I meet so many women in business of a certain age who are brilliant at what they do, but who hold themselves back. Sometimes that lack of confidence comes from life changes, sometimes from comparison, sometimes from stepping into a new chapter, and sometimes, quite simply, from feeling that they are being seen differently as they get older. They question whether they still look the part, whether they sound relevant, whether they should tone themselves down, whether anyone really wants to hear from them.
That is such a loss, because some of the most interesting, insightful, and grounded women I know are women who have lived and are confident to show it. Women with stories, perspective, emotional intelligence, and experience that cannot be taught from a textbook or filtered into existence online.
Recently, I was part of the Wise Women Don’t Whisper book collaboration with an amazing group of women of a certain age, and I loved being part of something that quietly but powerfully challenged the idea that our voices should soften as we get older. Because I do not believe wisdom should whisper, and I do not believe experience should be hidden to make other people feel more comfortable.
If anything, this stage of life should bring more honesty, more self-acceptance, and less apologising for who we are.
For me, that does not mean pretending confidence comes easily all the time. It does not. But I do believe confidence grows when we keep saying yes to life, whether that is speaking up, showing up, trying something new, sharing our thoughts, backing our experience, or signing up for a hike in the Swiss Alps that flips from feeling exciting to scary.
So, as I approach 60, I am focused on making this chapter meaningful, stretching myself, valuing my experience, and encouraging other women to do the same. I do not believe women become less valuable as we get older. I think we become more ourselves. And perhaps that is the real challenge, and the real opportunity, to stop hiding the years, the wisdom, the experience, and the life that shaped us. To own them. To value them. To show up with confidence in all that we have achieved.
Ladies, it is time to stop whispering.
If this resonates with you, I am creating a half-day personal branding workshop for women in business who want to feel more confident being seen for who they are now. Reach out and let me know if you would like more info.
I would love to hear from female-focused coaches, brand photographers, personal stylists, image consultants, and make-up artists who love to work with women 50+, so I can shape this workshop to add real value. If that is you, and this feels like a conversation worth having, please get in touch.
